{"id":826,"date":"2007-01-21T08:54:49","date_gmt":"2007-01-21T13:54:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jetnation.com\/?p=826"},"modified":"2007-01-21T08:54:49","modified_gmt":"2007-01-21T13:54:49","slug":"football-methadone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/miletestsite.com\/jets\/2007\/01\/21\/football-methadone\/","title":{"rendered":"FOOTBALL METHADONE"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Gregg L. Hayim<\/strong><\/p>\n

This time of year has always been tough on me. The taxing emotional involvement required to be a Jet fan during a playoff run takes its toll. When the season ends, as it always does, instantly and disappointingly, the withdrawals are not kind. Like a smoker stripped of his pack; I feel Jumpy, bored and on edge. Not really knowing what to do, or how to fill my time without \u00e2\u20ac\u0153next week\u00e2\u20ac? to worry about. Luckily, a few years back, I devised a plan. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not a perfect plan by any means, but a plan nonetheless.<\/p>\n

A heroin addict doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t just quit cold turkey. Rather they wean off their addiction, gradually and with the some help. The way I see it, so too should I. I know what you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re thinking. Is this guy really comparing heroin addiction to Jet Football? Ya, I am. What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s your point? It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s from these ridiculous parallels that the even more ridiculous inspiration of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153football methadone\u00e2\u20ac? was born.<\/p>\n

It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s right around now that I begin to feel the pain. Those three or four weeks left of meaningful sports until April. That one remaining month that actually matters. Those few playoff weeks that serve as the divider between the time the Jets whip out the golf clubs and ESPN shifts the late-night lineup from NFL Live to the World\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Strongest Man. Please, do me a favor and wake me up when someone other than Magnus Van whatever his name is, wins. Between Magnus and Tom Emanski\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s instructional videos, I wonder how ESPN can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t find anything better to broadcast after 11:00PM. (it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s worth noting however. You really can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t knock a system that has helped produce \u00e2\u20ac\u0153back to back to back AAU National Championships. Obviously, this is a video that \u00e2\u20ac\u0153gets results\u00e2\u20ac?).<\/p>\n

So this is the plan. Every year I pick a team. Any team, and I jump on their bandwagon for a few weeks. Nothing too crazy, just a little hit to help kick the habit. I try to find reasons, usually meaningless ones, of how too justify rooting without feeling guilty. Maybe the city is known for nice looking women; or nice weather. Maybe they don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have anyone named \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Tom Brady\u00e2\u20ac? or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Bill Belichick\u00e2\u20ac? on the sideline. Whatever the reason may be, I try my best to justify it. Any team qualifies, so long as they don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t violate any of the four rules. Those being:<\/p>\n

1) All AFC East Opponents are off-limits.
\n2) Any roster where the words \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Tom Brady\u00e2\u20ac? can be found, are off-limits.
\n2) No merchandise of that team shall be bought, worn or tolerated.
\n3) Light cheering is condoned at an \u00e2\u20ac\u0153acceptable\u00e2\u20ac? level. (Any outward sign of emotion that may cause an on-looker, a few years down the road, to ask \u00e2\u20ac\u0153aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you a Bengals fan?\u00e2\u20ac?, or something of the sort, is deemed unacceptable.)
\n4) Once the season ends, all bets are off. Should that team win a championship, there shall be no celebrating. We treat these four weeks as a reprieve, not a holiday.<\/p>\n

This week became decision time. Four teams remain. Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s take a closer look at each and find out who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s in and who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s out \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6.<\/p>\n

First up is the obvious choice for dismissal. As clearly stated in bylaws 1 and 2, The New England Patriots have been eliminated on the basis that they reside within the AFC East and a basic search of their current roster will reveal the name \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Tom Brady\u00e2\u20ac? in bold print.
\nNew England, out.<\/p>\n

Second on the list, The Indianapolis Colts. Not exactly an easy one, but not that tough either. True, my heart goes out to Tony Dungy. And also true, I wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mind having yet another bullet to load into the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153hey Eli, look at how much better your brother is\u00e2\u20ac? gun. Plus, they have a wide receiver from my alma mater, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153the U\u00e2\u20ac?, on the squad. But then I thought to myself, if I lived my life based on Giant spite and collegiate allegiances, I would end up in way too many \u00e2\u20ac\u0153hardcore\u00e2\u20ac? matches at the office and becoming a fan of every damn team in the league. I have to be real here, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think I can stomach watching Indy win a Super Bowl. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s way too much fun watching Peyton Lose.
\nColts, out.
\n\u00c2\u00a0
\nNext up, Da Bears. Things get a little tougher from here. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really have a reason to not like the Bears. Chicago has decent looking girls. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re an NFC team the Jets rarely see; they have a solid defense and seem to be a pretty respectable organization. What am I missing here? Oh right, week 11.
\nBears, out.
\n\u00c2\u00a0
\nWe are left with one man standing.<\/p>\n

Prior to the season, the Saints were unanimously voted the team \u00e2\u20ac\u0153least likely to succeed\u00e2\u20ac? by the entire football community.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0 The saints are a team from the NFC that poses no real threat to my Jet allegiances. They have a ridiculously good backfield, an overachieving quarterback, and a rookie wide receive from Hofstra. New Orleans, a year ago, was a city left ravished and demoralized by one the worst disaster in our countries history. They lost a big chunk of their fan base to Hurricane Katrina and have become sentimental favorites for good reason. This team would have been a severe underdog given the best of circumstances. They are an unthinkable underdog given these circumstances. Just like we were those months after September 11th, New Orleans is a city in desperate need of a smile and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m OK with seeing them get it.
\n\u00c2\u00a0
\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not easy watching the jets extend the losing streak to thirty-eight years, but someone has to win this thing. If not us, why not them? Yep, I think we have a winner here. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not easy for me to root for someone else, but if I have to\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6this year I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll go with the Saints.
\n\u00c2\u00a0
\nEnjoy these next three weeks fellas. Because once they end, its going to be a while until we hear those four magical words signifying the end of boredom\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6one lousy month and counting until\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6.\u00e2\u20ac?Pitchers and Catchers Report.\u00e2\u20ac?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Gregg L. Hayim This time of year has always been tough on me. The taxing emotional involvement required to be a Jet fan during a playoff run takes its toll. When the season ends, as it always does, instantly and disappointingly, the withdrawals are not kind. Like a smoker stripped of his pack; I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-826","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-featured-editorials"},"acf":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/peLffi-dk","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/miletestsite.com\/jets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/826","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/miletestsite.com\/jets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/miletestsite.com\/jets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/miletestsite.com\/jets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/miletestsite.com\/jets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=826"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/miletestsite.com\/jets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/826\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/miletestsite.com\/jets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=826"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/miletestsite.com\/jets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=826"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/miletestsite.com\/jets\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=826"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}